THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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