He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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