so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize