Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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