id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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