Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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