i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
