i think my tv is drunk
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Houston, we have a squirter
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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