The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
why is half of my head shaved?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
