New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
