absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
