i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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