he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
