Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
