Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.