allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation Theyâ€™ve Ever Had To Face
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying