just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize