Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
