We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
