there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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