She said her name was "party"
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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