Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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