Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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