You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
