ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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