in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
