is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
