This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
