all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
