Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I need water and some morals
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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