Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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