I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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