She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just found puke in my bra..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
