I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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