..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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