Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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