dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
