Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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