I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
