It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
