the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize