my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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