It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
