remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
