im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
