I can't breathe out the right side of my face
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
