"it" just moved
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am midnight drunk by noon
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
