How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
