Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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