am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
