Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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