Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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