Having a random hookup so left but love u
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
