I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
