This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
