Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize