White coat. Heels.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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