I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
organizing the empties. That sober.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
