i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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