im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
