you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
