Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
