oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Randomize