dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
