guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
