i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So apparently I’m into choking now
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