is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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